THE INFAMOUS DR. MAUVE (JACK BALLINGER) talks about SAFE FAXING.
Dear All,
As a public service, the famous Dr. Mauve, the "Father of Faxual Therapy,"
has allowed me to transmit some of the most asked questions on safe faxing,
along with his insightful answers. If you have any further questions,
feel free to ask them. Dr. Mauve will feel just as free to ignore them.
Q: Do I have to be married to have safe fax?
A: Although married people may fax quite often, there are
many single people who fax complete strangers every day.
Q: My parents say they never had any fax when they were
young and had to write memos and notes to each other until
they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before
they fax?
A: When your equipment is ready, faxing can be performed at
any age once you learn the correct procedures.
Q: If I fax myself, will I go blind?
A: Certainly not . . as far as I can see.
Q: At many hotels and motels in big cities you can go and
pay for fax. Is this legal.
A: Yes. Many people have no other outlet for their faxual
drives, and must pay a "professional" when their need to fax
becomes too great.
Q: Should a cover always be used for faxing?
A: Unless you are REALLY sure of the one you are faxing, a
cover should be used to insure safe faxing.
Q: What happens when I incorrectly do the procedure and I
fax prematurely?
A: Don't panic! Many people prematurely fax when they
haven't faxed in a long time. Just start over, as most
people don't mind if you fax them again right away.
Q: May I fax if the sex of my fax partner is unknown?
A: Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use
a cover each time, you wouldn't transmit anything you aren't
supposed to.
Q: If I have a personal and business fax, can transmissions become mixed-up?
A: Of course! It is always better to fax then to worry . . .
but PLEASE use a cover!
Q: I don't have a very large office, should I fax on my desk all the time?
A: You can fax on your desk, your file cabinet, a shelf.
table. or even the floor or next to the water cooler. Any
place where your equipment fits . . and you feel
comfortable, is acceptable. But please remember to use a cover!